Do you remember the last time you
said to yourself or someone else, "She gets me." Or "He gets
me."? Or you heard someone explain something and you found yourself
so captivated, because you thought you were the only one who thought things in
that way? So, I received the following text from a friend and I started to
write my reply, but it kept getting longer, so I copied it and moved to the
Notes app on my phone to finish my thought. It took a life of its own, 1,128
words later; here is my response to you my dear friend.
“There are ppl I don't think about them.
I don't know why.
There are those I think sometimes about, I
think I know why.
Those I think about them frequently
Are interesting. I know why I thing about
them”
This text sprung me to when I
used to wonder what is it that I really like and enjoy in life? What is the
long term career path that would make me happy? Of course sometimes I still do
ask myself these questions, but now, not as frequently. These days, I am too
busy ‘adulting’ I can't afford that kind of quality life :) do you follow
me? I am sure you can relate. With so much information overload and trying
to resist instant gratification from breaking news every minute, time to think
alone is almost out of our reach.
One day, while reading a quote by
Leo Tolstoy I believe it was the following quote,
"For man to be able to live he must either not see the infinite, or have
such an explanation of the meaning of life as will connect the finite with the
infinite.”
As I read these words, I felt I
was experiencing a momentary epiphany. It felt, the clarity of what I enjoy in
life the most was coming to focus so vividly and that is, to live a happy life,
meant to achieve a life style that induces positive stimuli continuously, from
doing the things you spend most of your time doing. I have heard someone explain
it this way, “A man, who enjoys baking bread, should not open a bakery”. That
is to say, if you enjoy baking bread, you should just work as a baker for
someone else, as opposed to owning a bakery. Because, if you own a bakery, you
will spend most of your time dealing with things like inventory, sales, staff
management, cleaning and balancing the accounting that you will not have enough
time to actually bake bread.
I find elevating positive stimuli
from the exchange of ideas, from hearing people speak about something so well, so
insightful, beyond anything I could imagined was possible to articulate a
message. But when they do, it makes perfect sense and I am left feeling, this
person gets me at least on this specific topic, like you are both floating on
the same wave length. It is not tangible, it is not something you can prove or
show as evidence. It is a sense of connection, a feeling deep in the mind.
Tangible things though can be touched and felt, don't seem to produce as strong
stimuli. I imagine this is obviously different for different people. But, the finite
nature of tangible things is what makes it so. A man worth $1 billion for
example, has more of the exact same things in comparison to a man worth $10.
What I realized stimulates me was the idea of unreachable ends, thoughts and
feelings. A deeply philosophical point of discussion for instance, especially
when two honest and independent minds have completely different views of the
same issue, but have the at most respect and value for the dissenting view of
their opponent.
The meaning and weight of the quote by Tolstoy’s above for instance, would be valued and understood very differently from person to person. One might find it to be very simple and straight forward statement; while to another, it might be the most profound wisdom he or she might have ever heard.
The meaning and weight of the quote by Tolstoy’s above for instance, would be valued and understood very differently from person to person. One might find it to be very simple and straight forward statement; while to another, it might be the most profound wisdom he or she might have ever heard.
Consider you and your friend read
the quote together, and then you ask your friend what he/she thought of
the quote? Now picture if you will, the clarity of your friend's thought inside
his/her own mind, the emotions the quote might have sparked, the meaning it
bears and the images it might have brought him/her?
But, most importantly, think of
the patterns and flow of the thought inside your friend's mind...? Does it
disperse and roam everywhere like a cloud in the open sky?
Or does it rise and fall, like a
cascading mountain range?
Or is it a forward motion along a
winding path?
Or does it spiral counterclockwise,
deeper and deeper into the center? There, pause for a second…the word is
counterclockwise, why is it easier for you to imagine clockwise spiral as opposed
to counterclockwise spiral?? J Do you ever think about not only what the
person you are talking to is thinking, but also the movement or the process of
thought formation inside their mind?
Your friend might respond with a
one short sentence response, but, deep inside, your mind knows, there is
just so much more than what your friend uttered. Now, you can’t even focus
on this previous sentence, because your mind is stuck at the previous
paragraphs, wondering, if you had to transform it into an image, what does the
process of thought processing actually look like?? You have read thus far, but
your focus is actually way behind still on the above paragraph isn’t it?
We don't know how and to what
extent another person understands something that we do understand, hear or
interpret. But often, we are overly confident in assuming so effortlessly about
how others understand us. The meaning and depth constructed into one sentence
is impossible to be received with an equal meaning and depth by another
individual. Yet, we all walk around believing we fully understand others and
that we are fully understood.
What I am intrigued by is,
1.
How did we
come to build that kind of full-fledged confidence on believing/assuming we
understand others and vice versa, as though we can see through someone else’s
head and read their thoughts and feelings?
2.
Is our overconfidence
actually a sign of us resorting to our self-serving biases – believing we understand
and are understood, because we often don’t give ourselves enough time for solitude
and self-reflection to realize we might be way off?
3.
Or is this
the byproduct of millions of years of human evolution and body language reading
at the subconscious level?
4.
Or is it rather
just the grace of God…he can do all things and no explanation is needed?
~
Cheers,
Daniel
P.S Though we haven’t spoke for
few months at the very least, I loved how the text didn’t start with hi, hello,
how are you…its because we both get it::
